Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You took a bar mat shot.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
