whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
