the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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