Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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