He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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