well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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