I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize