he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
