So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
