I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
