I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize