your thong is hanging out like whoa
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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