This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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