Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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