I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
did i walk over a car last night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
