I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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