That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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