And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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