My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
