Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it because I queefed?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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