I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
