I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
