Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I deserve this hangover.
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