Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
