we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Girls should come with a carfax report
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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