did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
