This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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