Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
