last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize