Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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