I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
false alarm. still invincible.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
