She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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