shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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