Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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