You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize