The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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