like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
