i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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