i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize