i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
