Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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