can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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