Already got asked if we're dating
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
