Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
