WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
