You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
