So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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