Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
