Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
