Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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