i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
