So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
