as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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