Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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