the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
