I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
