You made me cry and you don't even care
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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