3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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