It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
