Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
