So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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