And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
