After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
