so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
